One day while I was in the library looking for a book on taming those toddler tantrums, I stumbled across a self-care guide for women. “Women take care of others every day,” wrote the author, but how often do we turn our wonderful nurturing ability toward ourselves?”
The book promised a wealth of ideas for women looking for ways to comfort and nurture themselves. “Great idea,” I said, stopping to remove a book from the baby’s mouth. “I can’t wait to get started!”
Unfortunately, the book was filled with suggestions that didn’t fit into my life. Stretch out in the sunshine and lie there undisturbed. Yeah, right. The baby would be crawling on my head in two seconds. Besides, we don’t get any sunshine up here in the Pacific Northwest.
Have a sanctuary in your home where you can retreat for undisturbed quiet time alone. Five minutes in the bathroom to wash my hair is about all I can manage. And even that isn’t always undisturbed.
Beautify your environment with candles, colorful crystals, and cut flowers in vases. Ever since the baby started pulling up, our decorating scheme is “bare is beautiful.”
I read on. Long conversations with friends, expressing your feelings, reading the Sunday paper in bed, listing your goals and priorities, leisurely watering and talking to your house plants, positive affirmations, weekends away, redesigning your wardrobe, luxurious baths with candles and scented bath oil.
Despite a few references to children, it was obvious that the author didn’t have any. I flipped to the back cover. “Author JL lives in California with her husband and their dog.” I knew it.
I’m sure this book has been a help to many women, but what we really need is a book with realistic self-care suggestions for mothers of small people-things that can be done in the time you really have to yourself. I’ll call it “The Mother’s Split Second Self Care Guide. Here’s a sample:
Mother’s Split Second Self Care Guide
1. Make a cup of herbal tea. Savor the aroma and the warmth of the cup in your hands. Buy a microwave so you can heat it back up when you have time to drink it.
2. Water one of your plants. Choose whichever one looks most thirsty. Better yet, buy artificial plants and congratulate yourself on how good they always look.
3. Call a friend and leave a cheery message on her answering machine. Say, “Let’s get together when the kids are in college.”
4. Find a quiet moment and read the front-page headlines. You’ll feel good about staying informed on world events.
5. The next time your two year old throws a tantrum, get down on the floor and join her.
6. If you’re feeling down, hum a tune.
7. Put on a sweatshirt that doesn’t have any baby spit-up on it. This stylish new look will lift your spirits.
8. Take a bath without any little toy boats in the tub.
9. Go to the grocery store by yourself. Try to stay out of the baby food aisle.
10. Look in the mirror and say to yourself, “I am becoming a calm, organized, loving person.” Try not to laugh.
11. List all the things you could be doing with your life if you didn’t have children. Don’t they sound boring?
12. Gather your kids and cuddle together on the couch. Remind yourself that yours is the toughest, craziest, most important job in the world. Hug your beautiful children and love yourself for the great job you do being their mom!
Herbal essential oils and scents can relax you and your children. Try natural lavender room spray to help your baby snooze peacefully while you enjoy the precious moment.
submitted by Christine Dubois